Hold Her Heart (Words of the Heart) by Holly Jacobs

Author:Holly Jacobs [Jacobs, Holly]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kindle Press
Published: 2016-09-12T23:00:00+00:00

Part Two: October

Chapter Six

Hearts expand as needs be. They never truly run out of room. And despite popular belief, they never break. They can bruise, but given time and attention they will heal.

—A Four Letter Word: Love, by Pip

When I was little, I was prone to night terrors. I never remembered what I’d dreamed about. To be honest, I don’t really remember having them. What I do remember is waking up, feeling hot, sweaty, and so scared. And every time, I’d also find my mother curled up next to me on the bed. She’d be stroking my hair and murmuring shh or it’s all right.

Eventually I outgrew those night terrors, but my dream life was an active one. I’d kept a dream journal for years simply because the act of writing my dreams down solidified them in my mind. I didn’t really analyze them or believe they would lead me to some greater truth, but I did believe that sometimes I worked things out in a dream, things I’d never have thought about in the light of day.

Sometimes the dreams made no sense. And sometimes they made all kinds of sense. The night after my surgery, I dreamed.

I dreamed about a dirty-looking little girl with red hair. She was me, and yet she wasn’t me at all. I saw her sitting at an empty table, and then I saw Piper sweep into the room. This was Piper from the Internet, all smiles and strength with long red hair. She pulled the grubby child onto her lap, sang a song to her, and rocked her.

Then my mom walked into the room and said, “Thank you.”

Piper looked up and said, “Take care of her.”

She handed me/the little girl to my mom, who walked away. But though I’d been the girl who my mother carried away, I was still in the room with Piper who sat at the table and cried as if her heart would break.

I reached for her, but I couldn’t touch her. I couldn’t help her. She faded right before my eyes. She tied a scarf over her head, covering her hair, and then she turned pale, thinned, and then turned into a misty gray figure, losing solidity as I watched. She handed me Fiona and said, “It’s your turn now. Take care of her.”

And then I was sitting on top of the hope chest, rocking Fiona who was suddenly an infant with red hair. I cried and said, “I don’t know how to do this.”

And then I woke up.

“Ban, wake up,” someone said.

I woke up and found myself wrapped in Logan’s arms.

“Shh,” he said as he stroked my hair in the same way my mother once had, but the feelings his touch evoked were not filled with childlike innocence at all.

“It’s all right. You’re not alone,” he murmured.

“I feel as if I am,” I admitted. “I feel as if I’m going to lose Piper when I’ve only just found her. I feel as if all the talks I’ve wanted to have with her will never happen.

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